Diligent

So...I've been thinking a lot about what I want my new word for the year to be…and I think I have finally settled on the word diligent. I have been trying, in a way, I guess, to talk myself out of this word…but it keeps creeping back into my mind, so I guess it is going to get it's way and get picked. I first thought of it when I was at an appointment with my nutritionist. He told me I need to be diligent: diligent about making green juice everyday, diligent about doing the basic good things for my health, diligent about keeping my kitchen clean so that I have a place to make good foods…ugh. He had me there, because I am sooooo not diligent.  For the past few weeks the word has really stuck with me though. I need to be diligent with doing the small stuff (because "I believe it is the small stuff that will make the biggest difference in my life"): diligent reading my scriptures, diligent saying my prayers, diligent keeping the dishwasher unloaded, diligent in keeping healthy foods in my fridge, diligent in being grateful for the things I have…because it is when I'm not diligent that things start to pile up, and I start to feel overwhelmed, and I start feeling like everything is too hard and not worth it, and I get depressed, and it makes being diligent even harder. Because it is like I have to stop, and dig myself out of a huge pit (a pit of despair…) and that can be hard. Oh boy is it hard…my lack of diligence is currently glaring me in the face…hmm.

So the word for the year is diligent.

diligent it shall be.

I mean…I will be…

yeah.

I have a few more weeks until the new year…so I have a bit of time to come up with some specific goals to go along with my word. But as for my word last year…good ol' choose. It was a good word, a motivating word, but to be honest - it has kind of grown stale, so I'm glad it is about time for it to retire. And as for my specific goals from the year 2013…well, here is an update, or follow up, if you will:

#1. Choosing to pay off debt and making better financial decisions:  I am proud to report that David and I were able to pay off both of our student loans!!!!!!! I can't tell you how wonderful it felt to make that final payment and get the official "congratulations you've paid off your loan" letters in the mail. I felt like framing them, but alas I just put them in the pile to get filed away ;-) Our original goal was to pay off all our debt in 12-18 months…but after reevaluating (and taking into account the new car we bought, after losing thousands of dollars on the other new car we bought, that turned out to be a lemon…and the fact that baby #4 will soon be joining our family) I'd say it is going to take at least another 12-18 months. But I am still incredibly thrilled, all in all we paid close to $17,000 of debt off in the year 2013, and that's no small chunk of change. Just shows what you can do when you work hard towards something and believe me we have worked sooooo hard to stick to a budget! I am also proud to say that it has been an entire year and I am still using my old dustpan with a crack down the middle, and my dishes are still scratched, and my ol' washing machine is still doing it's best to get our clothes clean, and I don't think I have bought a single bag of oreo's. Not to say I never bought a single thing I shouldn't have bought…but, I have cut back…a lot...

I'm not going to lie, while is has been exciting to pay down our debt…it has also caused me a great deal of anxiety. I'm not sure why…I guess I have just convinced myself that we need to do this in a hurry, but I am trying to learn to be patient…to just work diligently and remember that someday we will reach our goal. But sometimes that is hard. Sometimes I just want to have all our debt paid off NOW! I want to enjoy a debt free life NOW! I want to finish my basement NOW! But I think life is trying to teach me to slow down and be patient. Baby #4 has really made me have to stop and be realistic…and try to relax while working on a goal that at times kinda stresses me out. We will make it…we will get all of our debt paid off, even if it takes us a long time (we still have 2 cars to pay for.) I have learned that while going a few months saving money and eating mostly rice and beans is ok---it's also ok to take a break and eat out and go to a movie…and it's ok to stop paying off the van and instead pay the midwife. Life keeps happening…

#2. Choosing to give up sugar and eat healthier foods: I cannot even begin to tell you how this goal has changed my life. Last year I thought that perhaps this goal was too big…too hard…and that maybe I wouldn't be able to do it. But I did it. I'm not going to lie and make you think I haven't had sugar at all in the last year…because I have. I have had my moments of weakness…and when I got pregnant I had my 2 months of puking where I totally gave up, and just ate what I felt I needed to eat in order to survive ;-) But for the most part…my diet has drastically changed, and sugar is no longer a major part of it. It feels so good to not need sugar. I learned that more than a physical craving…sugar had become an emotional craving for me. I learned that I feel better about myself, and my body feels better when I just walk away from it. I've learned that a tall glass of green juice can taste like a delicious snack and that even kids like smoothies made with kale and berries for breakfast, and that kids will actually eat salad…I've learned that it gets easier, and that good foods get tastier... I've learned an entirely new way of cooking. It was hard…and extremely overwhelming…and at times more expensive than I would have liked, but I am getting better at it...  I am amazed at how food can be used to heal and how other foods can make us sick. And I'm grateful to be eating more and more of the good stuff. I am still learning…but it feels good to know I am on the right path.

The worlds biggest sugar addict gave up sugar and the girl who couldn't survive without her oreo's hasn't had one in an entire year…and I'm ok with that. There are so many better snacks to eat! I lost a total of 37 pounds…and I got down to the weight that I was when I first got married. My headaches are gone. I haven't been sick in ages. And my family (especially Juliette) are all the better for it too. I can't imagine going back to the way things were…I know it would make me sick…literally :)

Well, that pretty much sums it up. I'm looking forward to 2014…I'll make sure to write a post about my specific goals soon…