One Heck of a Crappy Day=(

So, it is 1:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. David got laid off from his job today (yeah, for friday the 13ths), and I 100% just feel like crawling into a big hole and crying for a really long time. Problem is that crying gives me such a headache that I just hate to do it. So I really am in kind of a dilemma. I just absolutely hate the feeling of being so utterly out of control of what happens...and it breaks my heart that we are going to be going through this unemployment thing again---it is hard to watch someone who is so willing and able to work not be able too---it gets so frustrating and discouraging and makes everything seem so sad. David and I both knew that this was a possibility...that if things didn't start picking up at Jandaco that he would more than likely be the first one to go---but I didn't know, or expect, it to happen so soon...I thought we at least had a few more months before we started to really worry. Jandaco had finally launched "site riser" and it was finally time for him to start doing what he was primarily hired to do which was to sell it. And I know he could have sold it. I know he can do anything he puts his mind to doing...it just really sucks that he wont even get the chance to try. He loved his job, and I think that makes it all the harder---not like last time, when it was kind of (in a way) a relief that he was finally done with CompUSA. Anyhow, I know that things are going to be okay. I don't feel panicked or anything, just shocked and sad and a bit worried. My brain I think is just having a hard time coping with this kind of change happening so suddenly. I'm just emotionally exhausted---worried about how crappy our economy is, worried about having another baby in just a few months, worried about bills and rent and what will happen to us and where we will end up. It just feels like that dream of being self sufficient and buying a house and having a yard to play in and windows that are above ground so I can actually see the sun---is just getting pushed farther and farther away, when I thought they were getting closer and closer...and it feels a bit frustrating to me. I know that I have so much to be grateful for, that I have so many more things than so many others in the world. I know we will be fine, and I know we will be taken care of. Things have always worked out in the past and I see no reason why they wont work out again---even if once again we have to live down to the very last penny of what we have before something turns up. Something always turns up. =) Anyhow, that is the sob story for this horrible no good very bad day. Maybe I can sleep now.